Try not to confuse this with procrastination, as laziness and procrastination are two different things. [1] X Research source A procrastinating husband will postpone a chore, conversation, or date, whereas a lazy husband will never intend to make up or complete a task.
Give your husband the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions. Ask yourself, “Is his excuse valid, or is it a cop-out?”
Taking care of a house and/or family is important, so don’t let his hurtful words waver your confidence. If you feel under-appreciated in your relationship, reach out to someone you trust (like a friend or therapist) to talk through your emotions.
“I want us to be more active together. Maybe we can go on evening walks around the neighborhood. It could help us both get moving and stick to a schedule. ” “I do most of the cleaning when you’re at work, but I’d love it if you could help out more when you are here. ” “I feel like a lot has been put on my shoulders lately. Would you be able to run errands tomorrow?” “I’d really appreciate it if you picked up the kids tomorrow. It would be a big help, and they like spending more time with you. ”
Ask your husband if he’s feeling okay or if there’s anything he wants to talk about.
For example, if your husband doesn’t get home until after the grocery store closes, maybe you should be in charge of picking up the weekly groceries. If you have a bad shoulder, perhaps your husband can take on the vacuuming duties. Not many people like doing chores, but giving someone a choice to pick what they’d rather do can be a big motivator. Try making a chore chart, so you both stay responsible for your duties.
If you start to feel hot-headed, that’s okay. Take a deep breath and remove yourself from the situation, returning when you can express your thoughts rationally and calmly.
For instance, you could carry the groceries in from the car by yourself, but you need his strong muscles. You could spray the house for bugs, but you need his courage and bravery because those spiders are scary.
Try avoiding small tasks or chores over time to get his attention. [5] X Research source For example, maybe you don’t wash his towels after you’ve asked him to help with laundry. This way, he’ll have to help if he wants to dry off with a clean towel. If he enjoys watching a streaming service but fails to pay the bill on time, let the subscription expire so he’ll have to pay the bill himself.
Accept the current situation with your husband and plan to move forward. Try to resist the urge to rush him—everyone works at their own pace.
At the end of the day, he’s your husband, and with these new managing skills, you can help motivate him to be the best version of himself.
